How proud are you of your growth? This is a hard question to ask since many of us have regrets. Growth is painful. If growth wasn’t wrought with mistakes, than truthfully you could say you were not growing. Some mistakes in life seem to have irreversible impacts. Others spiral life in unexpected, scary directions for periods of time. If you could enter a time machine and change the people you’ve met, the places you’ve visited and worked, and the things you’ve spent time on, would you? If these changes were made, how would your life be? In Japan, broken objects have often been repaired with gold, marking the flaw as a critical part of the object’s history. In this case, flaws are honored. What would life be like if you could honor yourself because of all the flaws encountered in your growth process? What values do you see in the person you are today that you wouldn’t have seen otherwise? Growth often forces us into realities that throw us off so much that we are the metaphorical bird out of the nest. We must react, and these reactions can bring about positive change that may create proactive, emotionally healthy decision making going forward. Some things that we must do are forced by situations – such as repairing our relationship with ourselves to increase self-love, tolerating less from others, and building amazing resilience. It is my hope that you see your mistakes, flaws, and painful growth process based on paradigm shifts to your life. You have been altered by all of this, and this golden mark of honor has been critical to your personal transformation.

The American cartoon series Animaniacs was always one of my favorites growing up, especially the segment called Pinky and the Brain . In this segment, a genius mouse named Brain would always conspire with his silly sidekick, Pinky, to take over the world. In fact, he claimed this was a daily endeavor. Despite all best efforts, they were always unsuccessful in doing this. You, too, may have moments when you fantasize about how the world would be if you took over. Since this is an unlikely event, we must live with the world as it is and focus on bettering ourselves and carrying that ripple effect as far as we can. One thing that is notable is the toxic behaviors that surround us, which can be increasingly apparent at certain times more than others. Although we can't individually shut it all down and start fresh in a literal way, we sure can do our best to do so with a careful approach to clearing our personal mental state of mind. Start with the Obvious Culprits Have you been reading the news and political articles a lot lately? What have you been watching on television? Observing on social media? Are the behaviors of the people you are watching mostly toxic? Even if you are looking at them and can quickly acknowledge more healthy behaviors for them to engage in, given how far you've progressed on your mindfulness journey, is this healthy for you to ingest continually? Watching and reading are choices. You could put a halt to certain programs that are not mentally beneficial to you if you realize they are not contributing to a better mental state, and overall enhancing your self-growth journey. In addition, you'll start to notice that if you take breaks from news and politics, you may feel less agitated, and notice you just need the most critical facts to continue in this world as an informed citizen. Less is more. Whittle Down to What is Really Bugging You There is a lot more involved than just the obvious culprits when you are ensuring you are in a mentally clear state. While being completely mentally clear is quite a feat, especially during such a trying time throughout the globe, a realistic goal may be at least mitigating through any mental exhausting elements to attain balance. You know yourself more than anyone else possibly could. Your body tells you what you need to know. Observe the sensations of your body and your gut reactions. Is the telephone bringing you lots of calls that cause tension? What specifically in your phone is causing this? It is unlikely to be every single thing but really do an analysis of everything that presents itself to you through your phone. Is your calendar overwhelming when you look at it? Could it be e-mails? The list goes on but there are things that we just bare every single day, without paying attention, and it all accumulates to tire out our precious brains. This tiresome effect can be on a mental, emotional, and spiritual level. As simple as it may seem to delete a few mobile applications and realize you can live better without them, or decide to switch from a certain reality television show, for example, to sports and comedy that uplifts you, it is quite powerful. Even if some actions are more of a symbolic gesture than anything else, it puts the power in your hands. It is you that are taking these items out of your cluttered mind and freeing up beautiful hallways of breathing space.

I've noticed recently that I've experienced sound over-stimulation, and it was causing brain fog and tension. It is no wonder: I live in the downtown of a rural area, and although using the word "downtown" and contrasting it with typical urban areas would be laughable, there are merits to my argument. While it is certainly not the Big Apple, and downtown appears to span just a few miles, the only constant is change. There is always something going on. Traffic flows steadily. Frequently, at around 5 in the morning, a guy with a motor bike skids through the streets at top speed. At 7 every weekday morning, a horn blares as an across the street neighbor is picked up for work. I know this sound very well, because if I hear this it reminds me that I was not supposed to sleep in. I am usually up by 6:30 a.m. There are trash and recycling trucks, and plenty of industrial trucks with laborers doing what they must for the community. The hospital, fire station, and police station are all less than a mile away in different directions, so I hear every siren. The church bell on the street parallel to me rings every hour, and I can hear it if the traffic slows down, so not every hour brings me that luck. That is just outside sounds. Video chats can be heard throughout the whole day as long as virtual school continues, and there are sounds that accumulate, such as the cat meowing and air filtration systems, to name a few. I could summarize this quickly simply by saying there is a sound at every moment. I really don't think I am the only person on earth that is noticing sound over-stimulation lately, and I wanted to address it in case it also resonates with you. At times, sound can be synonymous with excitement. It means there is vibrancy and life. There is, however, a point where it can be overwhelming. Even if you have your daily mindfulness moments enjoying things such as meditation, yoga, and visualization, it is possible to still feel out of balance. What are some strategies that can be used to reduce sound over-stimulation and bring yourself back to a sustained, peaceful state of mind? Assess Every Opportunity You Have For a Break You can't make many of the sounds around you stop but you can certainly ease all of the sounds within your control. Look around and see what is unnecessary. You may be used to listening to a certain podcast or video content creator every day, but give yourself a break for a few days. The content is not going anywhere and it will be easy to catch up when you are feeling more refreshed. Can the television be on less? I set up both weekday and weekend time limits for television, and this has helped a lot. I am a person that has actually gone for years in the past watching television no more than once per month and now that I am indoors more consistently, that has changed a lot. Although it may seem daunting at first, it is totally worth it. I am sitting in the same location, but turning the television off sooner and engaging in other activities such as art and board games. Since sound over-stimulation also increases overall stress, you could look at all areas where you are stimulating yourself too much, even if it does not directly relate to sounds. Are you used to conquering five items outside of work on your To-Do list every day? Is the world going to explode if you cut it down to one task per day for now and gradually ease into more? I think you will be fine. If you are already an over-achiever, you may be apt at prioritization too. This works in your favor and you will realize what can be put off and for how long. Sleep Can you go to bed earlier for awhile? More sleep rebuilds the body and you need restoration right now. Earplugs or soft, noise cancelling headsets designed for bed time could enhance your sleep experience. The darker it is in the room, the better it is for your health. Light exposure during the time you are supposed to be asleep can actually disrupt natural, circadian rhythms, throwing your body off. Go Outside You need to see as much green as possible, and no, I don't mean money. Can you add some plants to your environment? It brings a sense of calm, and if you go further and get outside to enjoy vast, green spaces, that is even better. A refreshing change of scenery away from all of the blaring horns and video chats can provide nourishment for your soul. If exercise in the local park is not enough, perhaps it is time to plan a mini getaway, which doesn't even have to be expensive, such as booking a cabin in the woods for the weekend.

Meditation is so complicated! Does it have to be? One must engage the senses fully, relaxing the muscles in the body. You have to sit on a pillow, which is placed on a mat, and your hands in a prayer-like position. Your legs must be properly folded, with a straight back. Now that you've got that down, you must clear your mind entirely of all thoughts. Block out your hunger. Forget how thoughts of your hunger led you astray to thoughts of your grocery list and dinner recipe. Now forget about how crowded the grocery store will be if you wait too long, and by the way, forget about the sounds of traffic you hear that remind you of all of that. Now are you back to nothingness? You thought you were but the fact that you are not supposed to be thinking about anything made you think about something. Not thinking has reminded you again of that list of things that must be pushed aside to gain this admirable and formidable blank slate. There are some problems with this scenario: You Are Being Too Hard on Yourself It was thousands of years ago that Buddha made reference to the drunken monkeys of the mind that constantly strive for your attention. This was a time when the world had much different types of distractions and a lot less of them! Technology is such an integral part of society and right now, we are all depending on it more than ever. We are bombarded by notifications and visual stimuli like never before. Intrusive thoughts are a natural part of daily life. You Are Not Releasing Judgement Judging oneself for being distracted by a multitude of thoughts is self-sabotage. It increases these thoughts as we obsess over them. Instead, put yourself in the role of being a witness to your thoughts, stopping them in their tracks with compassionate awareness, but also consciously countering them. Unfortunately, it is usually easier for humans to think negatively than positively, so awareness of this skewed pattern helps us fight against it to re-frame our thoughts. An effective way of doing this is to ask yourself whether you are being realistic, resolving evidence in your mind for the thought you'd rather harness, and thinking about whether the thoughts hamper or prosper you so you can redirect accordingly. Consider whether you are dwelling in an unbalanced way, that is, whether thoughts are swaying more towards narrow aspects that bother you, instead of the overriding positivity that can be present if you set your mind to it and choose to expand. Now, as you take each breath, acknowledge each thought, and make the statement "I release judgement and you are free to go." Feel this deeply and compassionately, and breathe slowly to restore a sense of balance and calmness. If judgement causes obsession, cessation of judgement will restore clarity. Once you focus on your pattern of judgement, this will make your meditations incrementally better.

The autumn season is fast approaching and the routines of the past are radically altered for many right now. Parents are still, for the most part, grappling with virtual or hybrid schooling models. A lot of work is still remote as parents become multi-tasking superheroes. On one hand, they are patient teachers, and on the other, productive workers. Our jobs or businesses look different as we innovate and create around new realities. Most are no longer paralyzed by the initial shock and feeling of malaise that accompanies grasping the fact a global pandemic actually exists. Denial is still apparent to an extent, but that will have to dissipate with time. There is a mental, physical, and emotional toll as we engage a new world with flexibility and creative thought processes. It is now more important than ever to build up energy reserves, allocating energy appropriately and eliminating any energy drainers that can bring us down. Now that you’ve recognized this dire need for self-care, it is time to get started: Appreciate What You Already Have The key to staying blissfully in the present moment is to be grateful for what you have, rather than focusing on what you don’t have or dwelling on the past. It is best to do what you can right now to support yourself, fully assessing the way you want to feel in the present moment. Saying after this particular thing happens, I will do that or fantasizing too much about a future where all barriers are cleared may lead to unnecessary stress and disappointment. There are activities you can do immediately that will satisfy your needs. Even in less than ideal situations, there are abundant reasons to be grateful. Now is a great time to extract negative thinking from our egos to experience peace. Stay Away from Complainers and Gossipers There is so much negative energy behind constant complaining and critical gossip. Although it may be easy for the mind to drift away, this is not an emotionally beneficial way to fill that space. Finding out the latest gossip may provide one with a short-term dopamine hit, but it leaves a mark as it tends to focus on what is wrong or bad. We already fight every day against tens of thousands of negative thoughts that compete with positivity and fill our heads. Let’s make a decision not to add more in this area that can be easily controlled individually. Commit to a Morning Routine A morning routine provides us with purpose and direction. It can be quite invigorating. It is important to realize that mornings set the tone for the day – how we wake up, what we eat for breakfast, and setting the overall attitude, or mindset to nourish the remainder of the day. Sleeping in or not having direction may lead to frustration as the day is later assessed and missed opportunities are observed and regretted. Whether the routine involves coffee and journaling, walking and playing with a pet, a guided meditation audio, or anything else to ensure a positive, attitude-altering start, it is enriching to build a habit.

On January 1, 2020, I spread out magazine and greeting card clippings, pieces of jewelry, artwork, and handwritten thoughts onto a poster board, laying it out according to my themes. I formed my vision board, and this was a part of a group exercise. This group was bursting with hope and dreams of prosperity. We shared videos, original artwork, affirmations, past pains, tears of empathy and joy, as well as new realities. These realities had a few constraints for each individual, but overall there was so much room to grow in so many ways to achieve the desires outlined on our boards. We spoke with excitement about exactly how we would achieve and the overflow of exuberance was apparent. In March, all of our geographical areas were in lockdown due to the pandemic, and things were in disarray. None of the paths to desired outcomes were feasible, and it was unclear when this would change. As situations developed, it was at least clear the pandemic would impact plans for the long haul. The group dispersed, with everyone wondering, “What Now?”

Rejection hurts. It can feel like an indictment and invalidation. It can seem like a powerful judgement of your merits, crashing down upon you and shutting the door. It can feel universal – like the rejection is so big that the universe is making a unanimous decision about you with every no. This does not have to be the case. When rejection is redefined, interactions and thoughts can shift dramatically. When every no is seen with a human face, we can see humans have unique personalities, reasoning patterns, backgrounds, and perspectives. Therefore, rejection does not negate your truth. It is not universal. It is a two party interaction – one idea against another. It merely asserts another human opinion. Opinions are dynamic. They are based on mood, the personal situation of the other party, culture, individual knowledge, and current desires. They are malleable based on the factors guiding the person at that time, and you are not the biggest piece of the equation. They are, along with everything going on in their internal world that you are not privy to. Rejection is based on individual context and it is not personal.